Dear pain,
What’s good or loveable about pain? It is something that I asked myself as well. However, as with everything I try to put into these “love letters” the challenge often is finding the loveable part of something. Pain is one of those things that, even if we don’t want it, accompanies us through our life. Although, for pain this seems to be a really tough nut to crack. Sometimes or for some people, when the pain gets really heavy, they want maybe want to cry but they are unable to, they just turn completely silent. Sometimes the pain gets so heavy that you tremble and shake because of the crying. Everything is possible (even if it is not the most joyful way to say that everything is possible).
On a positive note, pain ends. Even though it often feels as if there is no ending insight, trust me, hold on, the pain will end. And while pain changes you, the pain will change over time as well and in some cases, it completely disappears, it is transient. However, I don’t really like the saying “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional”, because the first part is definitely true, but I believe that sometimes it is definitely not your choice to suffer but you still suffer and there is nothing you can do about it.
Have you ever heard of an eccendentesiast? Apparently, it is someone who hides their pain behind a smile and who goes through life with a fake smile most of the time. It is exhausting and definitely not rewarding living life as such. Life is way too short for that. And even though pain can change you it’s important to realise that it should never define you.
“Behind every beautiful thing, there’s some kind of pain” – Bob Dylan
Maybe pain has or had a positive effect afterwards. Maybe you are a little bit more kind, maybe you smile is a bit brighter and maybe you are wiser all because you don’t want anyone around you to suffer the way you suffered. It could be that you judge other people less because of the pain that you went through, because you never know what someone else is feeling or is going through at the moment. Maybe time doesn’t heal, maybe times shows you how to live with the pain and maybe that is exactly how it needs to be.
Getting through the pain and seeing the positive in said pain is anything but easy, however, you are anything but weak. Sooner or later, you’ll get through it. And trust me, knowing from my own experiences, you won’t be able to heal if you keep pretending that you are not hurt. If there is no sunshine, try to dance in the rain instead.
Music is a big help for me as well. It might ease the pain sometimes and, in some situations, it highlights the pain and makes it even stronger. Which is actually a good thing, because once you acknowledge the pain it can be easier to work with it. Making sure the pain doesn’t stay hidden is such a big part of living with the inevitable of pain.
So, this might be a little bit of a different kind of “love letter” this time, but it felt important to not only highlight the bad parts of the inevitable pain. Finding the positive in all the things is something I really try to do and something I really try to live by. See you next week and remember, you’ll get through it!
All my love,
Anna
Dear Anna,
To write about “Pain” in a “Love Letter” is very special.
It is not the most enjoyable topic to write about. But I can understand why you have written on this topic.
You picked a sentence from a Bob Dylan song: “Behind every beautiful thing, there’s some kind of pain.” And again it touches the right “spot” to talk about “Pain”.
You can’t avoid it, and you know that it takes an important part in every day life.
It is very important that you are aware of this.
I agree completely with what you wrote in the last paragraph of this “Love Letter”.
Anna,thank you and best wishes,
Ed.